


Congratulations to Your Brother

by nonbinarycoded



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 02:27:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4002385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonbinarycoded/pseuds/nonbinarycoded
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are consequences to being as good at comebacks as York is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Congratulations to Your Brother

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the post http://confessionforanothertime.tumblr.com/post/93728175819/poor-south-says-this-as-a-joke-york-mutters-the

Really, Carolina shouldn’t have been surprised to see York nursing a black eye, despite him not having gone on any missions lately. She also shouldn’t have been surprised to see South smug in the corner, watching how hurt York was. And she wasn’t surprised, not exactly; it was more of a vaguely disappointed acceptance that she had to do something about this.

She sighed. She shouldn’t ask, she _knew_ she shouldn’t ask, but this was her team and she did have some kind of obligation to know when they fucked themselves over. “York, what the hell happened to your face?”

“ _Well-_ ” South said, breaking off and glaring at York when he spoke over her.  
  
“South and her inability to take a joke is what happened.”

“I can take a joke. Just normally jokes are _funny_ , I didn’t realize you were trying to-”  
  
“ _What. Happened._ ” Carolina repeated, already feeling regret twinge at the sides of her head. Regret felt remarkably like a headache.

York opened his mouth to speak again, but fell silent with a look from South, who began the story. “So this asshole is sitting up in the observation room above the training hall, and I walk in over the fucking moon ‘cause I just beat the speed record for pistol targets- ah, suck it, by the way. Anyways, I walk in there and very rightfully go ‘shout out to my mom for making the most perfect kid ever.’ And _this cockbite-_ ”

“And _I,_ ” York said, breaking in with a shit-eating grin bigger than Carolina had ever seen him give, “Said, ‘well tell North I said congratulations.”

A beat passed, then another while South dragged a glare that could melt steel off of York. For a moment, Carolina thought South was going to attack him again, but instead she drew a breath and continued speaking. “ _Right_. And then some stuff happened, and now there’s one less table in the observation deck and York’s just lucky I fucked up his already bad side so he can still see.”

“See, if you were _actually_ the most perfect kid you wouldn’t be hurting me for making a joke-”  
  
“Oh, you wanna hear another joke? Because it’ll be _hilarious_ when I shove your-”

Carolina decided she’d heard enough, and lifted York over her shoulder. “South, shut up. York, you’re going to the medbay. _Both_ of you need to stop provoking each other. ...But mostly you, York.”

The whole way out of the room York was protesting this, saying he didn’t ever really _mean_ to provoke people. Most of this was lost on South, however, who was already going back to the observation hall to try to figure out how to hide a broken table.


End file.
